I was writing my journal one day, as one does when trying to make sense of their Soulscape, and I stumbled upon my feelings of shame and guilt that relate to many parts of my life. Unfortunately, they have carried on to my journey to become a housewife, so I had to address those feelings….
All my life, I have been avoiding the “bad” or “negative” feelings such as anger or frustration. Or at least tried not to show them. By doing so I ended up experiencing bursts of absolutely terrifying blind rage and more, all the way to the sensation of being nothing but an insignificant spec of dust…
The short version of my journey would be that in my past I got in with the wrong kind of people, got betrayed by friends, suffered from the trauma of my parent’s separation and the following solitude, and later on got into games. In one of these games, FFXIV, I experienced a lot of lows…
In the past, I have tried so hard to keep a hold of various traditions. Pumpkin carving, a horror movie around Halloween, and Nightmare Before Christmas at, well, Christmas. The struggle to keep some cohesion and order in my chaotic life led to an unhealthy attachment towards these things which I held on to with…
I am having a walk in the clouded autumn weather. And as I walk by some of the building sites in the city, I notice none of the people (many are working on the site) are women. Later on, I saw one masculine dudette standing around when the guys did the heavy lifting on a…
All my life I have been a people pleaser. I swam for my father, got good grades in school mostly out of fear of having to sit at the desk instead of going out with to play with friends, and even went to school for waitressing for three years to try and make someone else’s…
Ever since I was a little girl I had been dreaming of wearing my grandmother’s golden earrings, the only memento I had left of her (I’ve since lost the earrings sadly), on my wedding day. This would’ve, of course, required me to get my ears pierced. Along with the earrings, I started fantasizing a lot…
I wanted to take this moment to reminisce about a holiday that used to carry a lot of meaning for me, all the way until I had my awakening to the reality of things. Since I met my husband, we have started to create our own traditions, and while carving the occasional pumpkin is still…
I’ve often been faced with declarations that frown upon people calling those that committed or are prone to committing suicide selfish. In this article, I will give you my view and some of my reasons for them. WARNING: This article contains talk of self-harm, suicide, etc. Why should I have a say in the matter?…
This time I would like to talk about my habit of getting distracted and avoiding all the things that need to be done – Sometimes even things that I want to do, such as writing! While it is definitely procrastination in parts, it is also due to my borderline mind that I keep doing it….