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Category: BPD

All things Borderline Personality Disorder and living with it.

Are You Being a Coward? (3 Manifestations)

Posted on 08/01/202323/05/2023 by Maria

I was inspired to do an inner inventory after I listened to a podcast online. Join me as I write about how my cowardice affected my life

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On the taboo of Negative emotion

Posted on 27/11/202219/05/2023 by Maria

All my life, I have been avoiding the “bad” or “negative” feelings such as anger or frustration. Or at least tried not to show them. By doing so I ended up experiencing bursts of absolutely terrifying blind rage and more, all the way to the sensation of being nothing but an insignificant spec of dust…

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Breaking the habit of Borderline Procrastination

Posted on 01/05/202219/05/2023 by Maria

This time I would like to talk about my habit of getting distracted and avoiding all the things that need to be done – Sometimes even things that I want to do, such as writing! While it is definitely procrastination in parts, it is also due to my borderline mind that I keep doing it….

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Streaming with Borderline Personality Disorder

Posted on 22/04/202219/05/2023 by Maria

In this post, I would like to talk about some of the hurdles I’ve come across during our streaming sessions. For those that don’t yet know, we (my husband and I) actually started streaming our gaming evenings on Twitch some time ago. The Public Space I think most of us know that being in a…

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One Borderline’s Twisted Body Image

Posted on 02/02/202219/05/2023 by Maria

In this post, I will take a look at how I view myself through the Borderline’s eyes, and how my relationship with my body has developed since I started my healing journey. DISCLAIMER: This post talks about topics related to eating disorders and self-harm. My Background For those who are just coming to this blog,…

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Tripple Threat of Triggers

Posted on 12/01/202219/05/2023 by Maria

In this post, I will talk a little bit about my Triple Threat of Triggers, the TTT, also known as vulnerabilities. These three things have been present throughout my Borderline journey, for better and for worse.  DISCLAIMER: Contains talk of substance abuse, eating disorders, etc. Blessed intoxication As many of you may know, BPD (Borderline…

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The Void

Posted on 29/12/202119/05/2023 by Maria

The other day I felt extremely dissociative, and soon after, I fell into a pit in my mind I had never before had the pleasure to observe fully. I would like to do my best to depict that state I was in, the state I have since then started calling “The Void”. What is The…

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Life Traps | Pt. 36: Child’s needs

Posted on 25/12/202119/05/2023 by Maria

We have gone through almost half of the book, and soon it’s time to start digging into my childhood and possibly to cause some irritation in my parents as I go through tests and the like to figure out what I lacked in the past. But before that, I want to take a moment to…

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What it was like to be 130 KG

Posted on 23/10/202119/05/2023 by Maria

Sometimes things go sideways for us – a high-achieving girl competing in swimming turns into a depressed, even lazy, couch potato. When my mental health started to twindle, my physical wellness went with it. I gained kilos to the point of not being able to move due to the issues weight can bring with it….

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Life Traps | Pt. 28: Memories of childhood

Posted on 28/08/202118/05/2023 by Maria

The time has come to get into the part of this journey that I have not been looking forward to – my childhood. Nobody in my family is fond of me writing about these topics, the least of all me. But alas, I have BPD and the typical reasons for someone to have this affliction…

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Maria Vana
Wordsmithing Housewife
Blogging about Mental Health, Wifery & Femininity, and Writing | VanaVerse Advocate | Pixel Artist | Author & Translator
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