While it is often said that we housewives are wasting our potential, our lives, and even crushing the hard work of the so-called sisterhood as it struggles to break free from the patriarchy, the rewards of this privileged and important position are rarely talked about. What are some of the benefits of being a housewife?
A note on the ones with kids
While I do not intend to bring children into the world myself (to many a person’s concern), I do understand the incredible value of motherhood. The keys to the kingdom are quite literally in the hands of the mothers of the world, as it is their solemn task to carry, give birth to, and tend to their children (though it must be said that the father’s task is equally crucial to the child’s proper growth).
The children’s benefit should be the greatest worry in any parent’s mind, though sadly, this is often not the case. Some were not ready for a child, either they did not actually think it through, are attempting to fill a void, or had something happen to them that now left them with a child that is not always even desired. In some cases, both parents insist on their careers, which leaves their children fending for themselves in the cold world with nothing but microwave food and a few slips of paper money.
And then there is the matter of separations. I can tell you from experience, that even if the parents mean well and make it clear that it has nothing to do with you, the child, it still messes us up. I can still remember the situation as vividly as any other memory that has been imprinted into my mind. And I remember my helplessness, my anger, and fear when my father was suddenly out of my everyday life.
So, all the glory to the mothers and parents that stick with their kids by being at home, even at the cost of their careers and the threat of people’s judgmental attitudes. I often listen with envy as my בעלי describes the days of old when his mother would be there to welcome them home. I have such an opposite experience, sometimes even being locked out of the house when I forgot my keys in the freezing winter.
Now, to the matter of the rewarding things I’ve found on my journey towards being a proper housewife. My number one privilege as a housewife has got to be my freedom. Contrary to what the misguided souls of the planet would make us think, when one chooses a husband, they tend to want to choose one that will treat them well. And they get into this predicament of being oh so terribly oppressed (in the minds of naysayers) by their husbands willingly, knowingly.
What this means for me, is that first of all, I do not have to be stressing about work, or getting into the whole idea of the bizarrely masculine notion that women must have acceptable careers. I can’t think of anything more devastating to my already beat spirit than to have to serve some random person that would replace me in a heartbeat. In places where loyalty and grace have very little value in the end.
Having the freedom to not have to chase a career leaves me with the ultimate pleasure of going after my passions and dreams with full vigor and steam! While tending to the house and the needs of both of us, I have plenty of time to practice skills I find useful and desirable, and that would further my own path of writing and housewifery, as well as support my husband. It is exactly this situation I am in, and with the help of my בעלי, I even managed to build up the courage to start earning with my translations as well as keep on writing the blog! Not to mention the undying, passionate support and grounding reference I gain when talking about my projects with him.
Being a housewife offers many benefits for the relationship as well since the clear structure within our household keeps us from competing and clashing with each other. We don’t typically have issues about house chores, as those are my responsibility, nor do we have the excess stresses of both of us being tired and annoyed after a hard day’s work. I am free to focus on the relationship and being an amazing, supportive wife while Mr. V. graciously fights the good fight outside.
A loyal, devoted companionship
One of the undeniable benefits and rewards of being a housewife to a proper man is that we gain the most loyal, amazing companions to live our lives with. When there is no schism in work-life balance within the home, nor any grudges about the dishes not being done or whose turn it was to do any given chore, life becomes more harmonious on multiple levels. Both parties have more energy to do their respective stuff, and neither is too keen on starting fights over basic everyday things. Mostly because those basic things get done without an argument about who is doing more or less in the house.
As housewives, we have the incredible chance to truly create a palace of peace for our families. We become the heart and soul of the home, the promise of sanctuary for those that would grant us this freedom to put our all into tending to the lives of those we care about. And while some would argue against this domesticity, I will say, having clarity over who does what and when without much question, as well as being able to focus on those things properly and without the stress of having to work AND tend to the home is a win-win in my book!
When the balance of the domestic and the career have been put in the hands of those who are best suited for each task, the stress levels in the house seem to get lower naturally. This way we can keep growing those amazing, loving, devoted, and mutually beneficial relationships that last for a lifetime, instead of the argumentative, clashing, competitive ones that lead to separations, often in the hands of us females.
Order within Frames
The third great reward, at least in my books, is the order that comes within the frames of a committed, traditional marriage. If you happen to be one of the people that think true freedom comes from never having any rules or commitments, only ever doing things your way or no way, you better wake up soon – Chaos is not freedom. And it is very unlikely that you would ever find such a thing lurking in the infernal fires of confusion and random, power-hungry oceans of disorder. True freedom requires frames and discipline. It demands responsibility.
Without mutually agreed upon laws and rules we will go gallivanting in the meadows without an aim, or guidelines. And whether we like it or not, there will always be restrictions that we can’t run away from. The only thing we can do is reign in the rules we want to follow in our personal lives as our frames, in order to better ourselves and the world around us. I never understood why people are fine with the rules in their lives everywhere but in relationships. People would willingly slave for a corporate machine, but not hesitate to cry out foul play and oppression the second their dearest asks for a sandwich.
I’ve come to understand, that as a housewife, I must not pretend like I did not know what I was getting into. I knew what kind of a man my husband is, even in his spouts of genius that may come across as slightly infuriating, and I certainly knew that this is a contract I am stepping into. A voluntary contract. Now, life may not always be as rosy as would like it to be, but that is the choice I’ve made. As per my new convictions in life, I have closed the door behind me, and now I must learn to swim within the order that can grant me freedom and direction.
A woman’s power
As women we have an amazing power that my בעלי likes to remind me of whenever I am having a hissy-fit: we can create, and we can destroy. Sadly, the female kind of today has tilted towards destruction more than anything, in the misguided guise of equality and victimhood, and thus it is no wonder that the males of our species would not want anything much to do with us anymore.
Gone are the days when women were sensible in their methods, not resorting to rallying up at marches, busting windows, and screaming at random people. Our ability to be what we are, amazing and emotionally intuitive and gently guiding figures of the world, has all but diminished in the fires of toxic hatred. I for one can’t do this anymore. I want to truly be a woman. That apparently undefinable creature of grace and benevolence, kindness and tranquility. A peacemaker in these times of chaos and uncaged banshees.
Having been a raving lunatic, still occasionally sliding into that past depravity of obsessively seeking validation and striking at those who would dare question my truth, I feel sympathy toward the ones still in the chaos. It is not an easy life to live, and more than the infamous street gangs, the ideology does not want to let you go without tearing you down with it. And me, well, I have a long way to go before I can call myself grandiose things like benevolent. But I will get there, one step at a time, as I find my way back to the Cosmic Order, back to my true self.