We’ve all seen them in the streets, on the telly, and even in our homes – Drama Queens. They make a big deal out of everything, and can’t stand it when the spotlight isn’t on them. There’s no action too crude or improper, if it gets them into the limelight. But how on earth can we avoid becoming them?
#1 It all starts with harmony
Those who know a drama-driven person, know also that they are very unlikely to be emotionally balanced. They don’t tend to manage themselves and blow up into various overblown reactions. It stands to reason, then, that we can start avoiding this lifestyle by gaining harmony.
As a Borderline, I’m a natural drama queen. We are not called emotional terrorists for no reason, after all. It took me years, and still the practice is ongoing. Getting out of those nasty patterns of screaming, threats, manic outbursts and more is no easy task. In fact, I would say I’ve had to tame myself. Put a leash on that creature who likes to wreak havoc and make everyone’s life miserable. Including mine.
Nevertheless, I’m a lot more calm, collected and proper these days. I’m not seeking conflict, albeit I have to admit that sometimes the spice still blows out. A part of me revels in the chaos, and I’ve yet to quite grasp how to make peace with that side of me.
#2 Be respectful
We earn respect, as the saying goes. Well, my friend, your average Drama Queen will not hear any of it. They will interrupt everything for the sake of attention. Furthermore, they will demand respect, much like some controversial influencers these days. Try to remember this – respect is not something you demand. It is freely given to those who are worthy!
My BPD journey was full of disrespect. Both people dishing it out to me, and me giving back as hard as I could. It was a pain to bring it to an end when I met my husband. I went down kicking and screaming, so to speak. And my poor husband hadn’t done a thing to earn the behavior, either!
A proper person will be respectful of other people’s boundaries, time, and possessions. She is not one to bother someone in the middle of a conversation without good reason. Interrupting other people’s celebrations doesn’t even cross her mind. She glides through life with grace, seeing her opportunities and the proper moments to act, or not to act.
#3 Keep the peace and privacy
Those prone to drama are known to spread their dirty laundry out for everyone to see. Boyfriend did something to displease her? Shout it from the rooftops. The world isn’t showing enough respect? What the heck, just crash a party and start a fight, or a beef, as I’ve seen it be called. And don’t forget to make it as public as possible so everyone knows how victimized you are.
Borderlines are notorious for disrupting the peace. We threaten, rage, and bash doors on our way out. And in the end, it was all not our fault, of course. Didn’t you know, he did this? He is such a bad friend, I can’t believe it. Here’s some dirt on him…
Peaceful, drama-free people don’t go around spreading rumors or even truths about their private lives. They keep their friend’s secrets hidden and navigate the world through a sense of privacy. They will not start fights or arguments for petty reasons. Thankfully, I was never one to compromise the privacy of others, just my own. I can’t say the same about being flighty.
#4 Responsible and moderate behaviour
Drunken, wound-up rabbits grinding on anything that moves. You know the type. I wonder if it is desperation or delusion driving these people to such actions. Drama Queens will do anything for attention, without regard for modest or responsible behavior. They may take part in drugs and more, just to feel the adoration and rowdiness they think they deserve.
Recklessness is one of the hallmarks of BPD, as those reading my blog may know. We are prone to have random sexual relations, and short, explosive relationships. In my case, I was driving like a lunatic, and meeting strangers in dubious places. Though, in contrast to Drama Queens, Borderlines do it to feel included, for survival. We don’t necessarily do it just for the attention, though we do love it as well.
Needless to say, a graceful person will not be taking part in this promiscuous dance macabre. She will instead behave responsibly, and with decency. She will not have a need to show off her assets or to prove herself by inhaling whatever happens to be on the table. Dabble as she might, she will do so in moderation.
#5 Valuing health and integrity
The poor people trapped by one infamous octopus lady’s words won’t generally be seen taking care of themselves. Their health might be deteriorating, unless they are obsessed with looks, due to neglect and substance abuse. The word integrity means very little in the face of publicity, and so a Drama Queen might degrade herself to gain fame. It’s up to speculation if this is intentional or merely a consequence of the blinders she wears.
Borderlines are very similar in this aspect to your everyday Drama Queen. Health is a thought somewhere in there, but the fear of not pleasing everyone else quickly washes it away. Since we tend to not put any value on ourselves, to begin with, it becomes easy to let go of such notions as self-respect. Fight to the death, grovel, snot-sob, love-bomb like the world depends on it – because truly, the Borderlines life is on the line.
A balanced lady doesn’t need to result in these radical measures. She will keep herself healthy, both mentally and physically. She will not grovel, not that she’d have the need to do so, as she carries herself through life with elegance. This example lady of ours isn’t phased much by the chaos, nor will she voluntarily go stir it up more.
While we might never be Keanu Reeves -level of a good person, we can still try our best. We can start by cultivating inner and outer harmony, gaining mastery over our emotions. From there, it’s time to move on to being the peacekeepers and respectful ladies who inspire people to be better.
Valuing the privacy of others and ourselves ought to be high on the priority list. There’s no need to air your foul moments for the whole neighborhood to hear. We can take steps to keep ourselves healthy inside and out, as well as make sure we behave responsibly no matter the situation.
There is nothing glamorous about being a screeching, obnoxious Drama Queen. What I would like to see from the world as we move on with our lives, is the young ladies getting a grip. No more being overly dramatic and a disturbance to the whole city center. No more hanging out with the wrong people. If we women raise our standard, we have the power to change the world into a safer place for us all.