It’s bad enough to be a housewife in this day and age. The modern woman sees us as leeches of society and claims we waste our potential in their career-minded visions. Consequently, when you don’t plan to have children, it becomes a whole other mess to settle. Let’s take a look at the sort of things voluntarily child-free women might come across in our current environment.
Ousting of the childless housewife
As far as we housewives go, we are already walking on thin ice. We dare stay home and rely on our husbands (who by the way, rely on us in turn). In today’s world, it’s all about the career woman and uncompromised independence – who would ever become a housewife voluntarily anyway? Logic dictates we must be either brainwashed or coerced into it. At least if we listen to some extreme people’s opinions about the topic.
The working woman often sees us as people who support the patriarchy and crumble the hopes and dreams of the progressive woman. Thus, they blame us for our twisted selfishness. Apparently, it’s everyone’s privilege and duty to slave away, pay their due taxes, and quit whining about it. Now, I understand the value of taxes, I am a Finn after all, and enjoy my cheap healthcare. But am I selfish because I’d rather support one person, who I truly care about and who cares about me? Instead of trying to take the world on my shoulders in the form of a career among sharks and toxicity?
The selfish
What makes it worse is that my husband and I aren’t intending to bring children into the world. It seems like people think it’s the must-do duty of women to rear children whether they like it or not. Otherwise, they aren’t real women (which is amusing considering anything that says it’s a woman is now classified as such). Or if they are, they must be extremely self-absorbed, lazy, and just all-around terrible human beings.
Unfortunately, the meaning of my life doesn’t come from adding another being into the chaos that is my psyche. In a way one might argue that this is about the most selfless act I can do as a woman. I refuse to endanger an innocent life by bringing it into chaos. I won’t do it just because I feel I need to fill some void or other people’s standards.
The pain of the All-knowing
I’m someone who doesn’t have children in my mind at all, other than the occasional paranoia of my coil still working. Yet, I’ve come across many all-knowing people on my travels. And I’m sure I’m not the only one, the forums are full of stories and experiences like mine.
I’ve had people comment on my youth, and how my mind will change one day. How I don’t know what I’m missing. Well, fair enough, I do not know what I’m missing in the least. Doesn’t that go for every other experience in life as well though? To me, it’s similar to telling me I don’t know what I’m missing because I skip the annual BDSM gatherings. Or better yet, I don’t know the exciting thrill of gambling or drugs.
When it comes to changing my position, I’ve made up my mind about at least one thing in my life. It became clear while I was still in the turmoil of depression and out-of-control emotions. I would never bring a child into it. And now, as I’m closing in on my 4th decade on this planet, I still have ways to go. While I’m getting better, I can hardly call myself worthy of having an innocent, helpless human being depend on me. Never mind a child, even a puppy is questionable!
Biology hits us all in the end, and thankfully in my case, I am not terrified of it. I don’t feel as if I was missing out on something crucial to my life. I’m free to cherish my time and progress in the inevitably of it all.
The pain of the unfortunate
I consider myself among the fortunate since I’m not obsessed with the thought of a child completing my happiness. Despite this, I have empathy for those who do yearn for it but won’t ever be able to get there. I can only say we need to find meaning in our lives despite the cards we’ve been dealt. It’s something we must do to be able to live in contentment. Even when it’s sometimes excruciatingly painful. And it’ll not be getting any better by projecting the anger and sorrow into those who have an alternative.
I’ve been browsing through the Great Internet, and I’ve come across many a slandering post. People suggest that we are selfish and terrible human beings due to our leech nature as housewives. Not only that, but we are also voluntarily not having children. Some of the pained women that life has robbed this option from deem it a cardinal sin. They’ve even raised suggestions that we aren’t women at all, least of all human. We should breed simply because they can not.
In the end, it is our lives
Truly, we have no control over other people or their lives unless they choose to give it to us. The general modern notion of trying to bud into every other person’s life has grown into a monstrous norm. Obviously, we know their situation better than they do. For us housewives, especially the ones without kids, it can seem like the whole world is against us. It’s one of the reasons I struggle to speak up about my career. The vilification and shunning due to my choice in life have left me an outsider.
The most bizarre comments I’ve read are that somehow it’s not up to me, especially if my parents are involved. So many forum-dwellers have spoken about how they are at their wit’s end. They’re trying their best to be kind to their parents or in-laws as they claim grandchildren are their right! How messed up is that? It’s not anybody’s job to breed and create a life for someone else’s sake. Children are a serious commitment. A lifelong one and you better think twice before you bring them here and ruin lives with your self-righteous stupidity.
Why not?
Some of the worst reasons and situations to have a child include the following.
Doing it for someone else. Having one when you are mentally unstable/ill. Doing it without proper preparation. Trying to fill a void or find a purpose or substance in your life. And finally, trying to fix anything by having a child. For the love of God, don’t bring a child to try and mend any relationships or your own issues. It’ll only serve to ruin the child’s life in the end and leave them scarred.
I never saw a child as something I absolutely need in my life. Trying to fill a void as a borderline never quite stuck when it came to another being in my life. I’ve heard many of my kind have a tendency to do this. After all, the child will rely on you and need you and that feels amazing to us Borderlines.
I’ve directed that part into plushies and pets in the past, and now into my husband to his joyful misery. Other than that, I live by my conviction to not bring a child into the messy chaos of my instability. It just wouldn’t do anyone any good, nor would it be fair to anyone including me.
This leaves me with having to come to terms with the toxicity of the world. I’m learning to be a child-free housewife in the modern era, in the woke West. I’ll need to grow a spine, from whatever fractures survived my past, and live with my choices. It’s a tough road, but ultimately, it’s the Path that is mine. The one only I can walk and know to be the way for myself.
Last Updated: 26/06/2023