Zoey Tur threatens Ben Shapiro on air. Younger generations’ language turns cruder by the year. Your own partner uses disrespectful language. Why are we so accepting of these rude and even dangerous behaviors? In this post, I’ll ponder on bad behavior and what I feel is a significant symptom of degeneration in our times.
First, let me come clean
I’m not the purest dove in the cote. As a child, my behavior was proper for my age. I ran, played, and caused mischief by running late on my curfews. I kept losing my keys to such an extent that my father gave me a flaming red fire extinguisher as a key chain. It was big enough for me to not have to worry about dropping the jingles into the schoolyard’s rain drain anymore.
After that, things started happening. My parents separated, I switched classes, and my old mates became bullies. As a result, my Borderline Personality began to develop at an alarming speed, without me noticing. With sensitive temperament comes major chaos, at least when it comes to BPD.
Self-harm, recklessness, and other maladaptive patterns rose to the surface. I hung out with people twice my age. The dim rooms of an internet cafe became my lounge. Likewise, my father’s pc and the internet were my escape from reality.
My behavior got worse and worse over time. I was spiteful, toxic, and dangerous to those around me. My close circles often suffered the worst of it.
For a long while, I justified this crudeness to myself by labeling myself ill. Mistreated, traumatized, all the good things in the book of BPD. My toxicity became an act of righteous terror. I had the right to be terrible. After all, I perceived those around me as abusers and retaliated.
Mental health is not an excuse
I’m not proud of my past misdeeds and cowardice. Nevertheless, I appreciate the fact that I can now look back on that version of myself. I aim to never fall that low again, and have learned an excruciating, yet important lesson: My mental health is not an excuse for me to behave poorly.
No matter how victimized I am. Even if the people around me treat me badly, not accepting reality. I have no excuse to stoop to their level or lower. With grace and the guidance of whatever powers may be, I will do my best to keep myself in higher regard. I deserve my own respect. And that would only get lowered if I behaved poorly under pressure.
I’ve had to come to terms with the realities of life. Things such as respect being a thing that I must earn, not demand. All these rampaging people demanding respect from the world… I can’t help but wonder why they think my respect comes for free. Of course, it works the other way around too. I don’t expect you to respect me out of nowhere. That would be foolish!
Furthermore, my behavior is mine to control. It’s not a matter of ‘Well you did this so I reacted’. No. I’m sorry, I don’t care who you think you are, responding to a verbal offense with violence or screeching is never acceptable. Having been on the violent side of humanity, I can say it rarely ends up in your favor.
Extreme examples
Chaos fills our days. The incident I mentioned in my introduction was the first one that popped into my mind. I understand that Mr. Shapiro offended Tur. But did it warrant Tur giving him such a vicious threat on live tv? I was absolutely appalled by the other people’s reactions as well. It is never all right to get physical with anyone despite their offense.
France has become a more recent example. After the tragic death of a youth at the hands of a police officer, the country fell into anarchy. Buildings burned and people started pillaging. The angry mob even made its way to the Holocaust memorial, defiling it. In what world is this an appropriate response? What did the victims of that horrible event have to do with this tragedy? The scenario is not far from the BLM riots, where destruction and harassment of the innocent were also commonplace.
On a more local note, we had an attack on the Pride Parade some time ago (article in Finnish). Some poor saps tossed pepper spray/teargas into the mass of people of various ages. In that mass was also a baby that got affected by the gas. Again, in what world is it acceptable to respond like this?
In addition to this lunacy, it seems that society forgives progressive rudeness and violence. The threats, screaming, and blatant assaults are ok if they come from an ‘oppressed’ group. How we came to have ‘protected groups‘, I will never understand.
Everyday rudeness
Entitlement, screaming, and overall lunacy seem to be running rampant on the streets. Basic manners go extinct slowly but surely. When did the basics become so difficult for us to remember? Give each spark of life due respect as a fellow living being. That’s my motto.
As if it isn’t bad enough that adults are wreaking havoc with their instability, the youth mimics the trend. When I was a child, had I been talking like the kiddos talk today… Oh boy, that would’ve meant a stern spanking! The growing disrespect from the younger generations worries me. And to be honest, it should worry you too. This is the future we are talking about, and at least in Finland, it’s not looking bright.
Of course, the whole new family dynamic is becoming problematic. Parents struggle with discipline. The children get worse and worse as they find ways to retaliate. Partners no longer know how to thrive together, instead ending up divorcing. In addition, the dating game has become just that, a game. Everyone demands, yet nobody is willing to yield in their delusion of freedom.
Why do we tolerate it?
I’m sure my stance on this has become clear by now. I don’t tolerate any kind of maliciousness. Not from you, and not from me. The people around us ought to call us out on our disrespectful, rude manners whenever we engage in them.
The entitlement of the people of today is astonishing. Likewise, I’m sad to say, it seems like most of this entitlement is coming from women. We have all become way too easily offended. Our skin is like a paper-thin veil hiding the ugliness and insecurity inside. When the paper rips, we let hell rain on Earth. Fortunately, I’ve managed to somewhat tame my personal banshee.
It is my Borderline opinion that we could all use some DBT. Naturally, the skills and practicing emotion management would not go to waste in our everyday lives. Someone offending us shouldn’t be such a grievous occurrence that we resort to pure rage.
Tragic things happen, such as the authorities causing the death of a young lad. However, it doesn’t mean the ruin of the whole country. In fact, we should use the proper outlets. Bring justice within the proper boundary of the law to those who committed such heinous acts.
After that, our elected officials can bring the correct, calculated punishment.