Relationships

Could you be with your husband 24/7?

Upset couple on sofa with distance
Posted by Maria

Due to the Covid running rampant around the world, people have been facing this new challenge: staying inside with their families. The limitations and closed places give people fewer opportunities to go out and about, and that seems to make tensions rise within households.

Why is it difficult for people to be confined with their families?

I personally think that the current western culture of being busy, independent, and “free” has a lot to do with it. People are so accustomed to thinking that they need to be going all the time, chasing their social status, promotions, whatever the hip thing happens to be. You are pressured into being this social butterfly without a break, and, for me at least, that is a very bad way to live.

From a very young age, I never understood the whole commotion around huge circles of friends (for me huge is anything above five), as I’ve always been more into knowing the people I’m hanging out with. I’m not saying that someone can’t be on top of their hundreds of “friends”, but I do think it is very unlikely that all of them share that special bond with you that comes with deep relationships such as proper friendship.

Added to this, I also think it is a fool’s errand to try and manage so many different interactions- for me, managing my relationship with my husband and the family is plenty of headaches. 

I like it home.

Now I know this might seem weird to some people, but I’m actually happiest when I’m with my husband, and when I’m home. For me, home is a sanctuary from the cruel world that can’t accept me for who I am, that is always trying to beat me down for my choices, and where all the dangerous, bad people are. Why would I want to waste time in there when I can be enjoying my time at home, doing things that I actually love doing?

Many people must feel like they are obligated to be going through this mess of a life, loud and uncomfortable, always aiming higher and struggling to get there. I don’t want that at all. In my husband’s words: I like it boring.

Both of us have gone through enough chaos and action, and at the age of 30, we both want nothing more than to enjoy each other while living comfortably. I find that things start to get more complicated the more people you add to the mix, as everyone has their own agendas.

Best friend, confidant, and lover.

My husband says I’m all of these to him. That’s what he was searching for when he was out there hunting for wife material. I’m starting to understand the freedom that gives you when everything you need is right there, in front of you. Maybe that’s why it is so easy for me and him to be confined in closed quarters for such long periods of time – we are very rarely apart.

We’ve talked about people’s reactions when we tell them that we are together 24/7, and they make me sad. The shock, and then wondering how we have not gone crazy yet. How they, for sure, would be sent to an asylum or blowing up if they had to spend that much time with their spouses. Why?

Why is humanity in such a state that married men and women can’t stand being together, that the new normal is to be at work more than at home? I absolutely hate that idea. At some point in time, did these people lose the connection to their partner? And if that’s the case, why did it happen?

In the beginning, there was passion.

But when time goes by they say the flame gets dimmer. I want to share a secret that I’ve learned from the union I’m in: Attraction, love, and passion are all things that come from within us. Not someone else, us. If the person stays the way they were (not including the evolution that happens when you have to put together a regime for two people moving in together), there is no reason why you would stop feeling attracted to them. 

It’s our duty to keep working on ourselves, maybe even double time, when we bind ourselves into a legal contract with another person. I find it very bizarre that people go out hunting, put on their make-up masks, and buff up their muscles, only to then let it be forgotten in the relationships. What’s that about? I can imagine people would feel deceived if their amazing partners suddenly decided that they are not going for runs anymore or putting effort into their look in the morning.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s up to us to keep the flame. No one party can do it alone in a relationship of any kind. And the more we stay apart the harder it is to keep it alive and burning. And a part of keeping it very much burning is to be intimate, at least for us. Since when did it become normal to deprive your lover of love? 

People are too important and bitterness ensues.

In the grand scheme of things, people have needs and they tend to put their own needs first. But, my friends, in a relationship, it’s a trade. Not a one-way road. You give some, you get some. If one of you starts getting less than they are due, you will have a literal hell of a time.

The new trend in the world seems to be that men specifically are called out for one of the basic needs of humanity, which happens to be intimacy. The natural act between two lovers that really want to get close. Why would you ever deny this from the person you chose to walk through life with? Why would you ever try to justify it?

Me? I would say I’m a good little waifu, proud to be tamed and domesticated. You know why? Because my needs are fulfilled, I have the safety of my own home and a friend I can talk to about anything under the sun. That is why it is incredibly easy for me to stay with my husband for days on end, loving, gaming, cooking, sometimes arguing. I suppose I’m just lucky, right? I found the right guy by my side, so I don’t have to feel like I need to get out of the house to not get completely out of my mind. 

But then again, I’m already certified crazy.

Is it hard to stay closed in with your spouse? Let us know in the comments!


Want to know more about life with Borderline Personality Disorder? Sign up for the weekly newsletter!

Related Post

2 thoughts on “Could you be with your husband 24/7?

  1. Amethyst

    I’m a homebody anyway so I don’t mind. I can’t work with my husband though, nope not at all. He’s a people person and he can talk for days on end. As for me, when my work day is over I’m out!

    1. Maria

      We (me and my hub) are weirding people out with the fact that we literally sit like 30cm from each other the whole day, as we both do our work at home. I lucked out and got someone by my side who enjoys the quiet and home as much as I do, if not more. Other people though, I don’t have the energy for it!

Leave A Comment

%d bloggers like this: