I am having a walk in the clouded autumn weather. And as I walk by some of the building sites in the city, I notice none of the people (many are working on the site) are women. Later on, I saw one masculine dudette standing around when the guys did the heavy lifting on a street maintenance job. I can’t help but ask: where do the progressives stand in this situation?
As a housewife, I am actually fine with the thought that men would be the builders and women would be the keepers of society. I don’t mind being home or taking care of what my husband and the many men that probably built the building I live in (and much more) have made and given for our convenience. I find it very strange that there are still sentiments such as women shouldn’t be in the kitchen (I read something about early feminists that called for the abolishment of the kitchens as a whole, and to replace them with services that would do the function for you). I find it extremely strange actually.
For me, a home is a place of peace, and it is supposed to be a sanctuary for both me and my husband. There’s nothing quite as noble as trying to make a refuge happen for your family. I can see the benefit in this kind of duality of the genders, or roles, as they don’t even have to be gender related – if you are a man and like to be home, go for it.
Generally speaking, I don’t find it oppressive or aggressive or anything else of the sort. To want to be with a partner that would take care of the domestic duties while you go out and have a crazy, crazy time in the wild trying to procure food and shelter, and money for your loved one, it’s not too much to ask for the other one to then take care of it.
Traditionally it’s the men that go out to hunt and I can see why. As a woman, I don’t feel inclined to fight for everything (to have to climb the corporate ladder), I do not wish to struggle so much. Even back in the day, I would have probably been the kind of woman that would say “No thank you, I’m not going to do that!”. I’ll gladly sweep the floor and prepare whatever it is that he brought for us but I will not be the one doing the slaughtering. (Though it must be said that should my efforts be needed in the realm of procurement, I would gladly help my husband with that as well.)
And then there is the general fact that physically, biologically, females of our species are a bit weaker than men. And that’s completely fine. They are catered more towards doing the hard jobs, the dangerous jobs. Doing the building and fighting and shoveling gravel like one TikToker so elegantly put it as she would’ve rather been making refreshments. Also, not only their brawn, but their brain is more task oriented. I can’t see anyone better to build me a house than a man that has spent their life learning it and has the logical and nonwhimsical mindset of a man.
Like I said previously, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that if a man is willing to do all of these things for a woman (although these days it is getting understandably rarer and rarer with women being less and less cooperative and more masculine), the partner of that man would then take care of what he procures. It goes without saying that this whole idea of dividing roles is a staple in society anyway.
When it comes to roles it’s like the home is now the only realm where the role division has become this kind of a hot potato. I’m sure most of us understand, and can even appreciate the division of labor. After all, if you go to work, you have specific tasks, you agreed to those tasks, and you will carry them out to the best of your ability. On good days, and on bad days. Because that’s your job. And you don’t start nagging about it either (especially not to your higher-ups), you don’t start groaning out loud: “Why do I have to do these things”. It’s just natural in the work environment.
So, how come isn’t it natural in the domestic realm? Why is the weird, twisted notion of progressive equality infesting that place of safety? Units only work if everybody knows their task and place in the unit. Now that doesn’t mean that anyone should be oppressed or that there can’t be flexibility or variation, but generally, you stay in your own lane and you let the other one take care of theirs. Even if it means giving your spouse more power in steering the boat because they are better at it than you.
For me, as a housewife, this translates to being, well a housewife and my husband is the one going out (well, we are blessed since he doesn’t actually have to go out) and doing his amazing work and even helping with some of the heavier household tasks, so I could then do the other things like keep the house and try and make it so I am available for those emotional, intelligent (as much as I can keep up with his genius anyway!) discussion needs in which I struggle. As my dear readers know, I am very much able to handle triggering topics and intense conversations! (Ah, the irony.)
All and all, I would think that people would understand that it’s quite natural to have role divisions. And to have them based on the actual strengths of the people involved.
The strengths of men and women
Traditionally speaking and biologically speaking, as I’ve mentioned before, men are a bit more catered to do the heavy and harsh jobs. Jobs that require a certain mindset and mentality to do. This is even amazingly shown in places like the workforce where the division is reflecting this notion. What I saw today is that there are almost no women in the building sites. And, on the other hand in the more caretaking departments (like teaching and nursing), men are more scarce. That’s only natural dare I say, we are catering to that side more as women.
As women, we tend to be more emotional, more empathetic, and more leaning towards wanting to take care of and wanting to understand people’s inner thoughts. Of course, I’m speaking in generalized terms. That’s why we make excellent mothers and caretakers, and so, we can pass down information to the younger generations. It is quite an immense task to take on, the future of our species is sort of hanging from the threads that we women weave through our parenting. Men have their own thing going on when it comes to this as well. They are more about order and stability and stoicism so to speak. And we can’t function properly as humans unless we have both of these embedded into us.
So, why are we so hell-bent on trying to be men as women? Why do we have to do everything they can do? I don’t feel the need to do that. What I feel the need to do is to do what I know that I can do and what I’m good at and what uses my particular strengths. Not to try and struggle and be someone I’m not. Which would in a sense be what I was previously, which was me trying to be one of the ‘’lads’’ or the ‘’Bois’’. And well, that turned out marvelously for me in all irony. Trust me, it’s been way easier now that I’m embracing my core, which is to learn to be more feminine, gentle, and well, just a chill lady overall.
Other than being creative and learning to lean more to my nurturing side as a woman I don’t see why I should try and do all the things that the modern feminist movement suggests I should do. I don’t want a corporate career, a harsh, energy-draining “real job” as they call it. I’m quite happy being the keeper and treasurer of what my husband builds, as well as his supporter through life while having my own aspirations on the side.