One topic I frequently come by is whether women and men can be ‘just’ friends. In my previous life, I may have claimed it to be the case and was indeed ‘friends’ with both sexes. However, as I’ve wisened and learned more about the human condition, I deem the notion quite foolish. It’s the reason why I decline most invitations to friendships… Especially those coming from men. But what convinced me?
Hello, do you want a new friend?
It was a sunny day here in Finland, the kind of cool warmth that comes before the horrid summer heats. Perfect weather to stretch my legs to the beats of music and enjoy the fresh air. And so, I took off on a walk around the city center. On the last stretch before returning to our dim computer lair, I got faced with a peculiar situation. A man approached me.
The situation was a little bit concerning to me. The man and his friend walked in an entirely different direction from me before suddenly deciding to swerve my way. I stopped my happy skipping and humming to dig out my phone, ready to hit the call button. My husband would come for me faster than anyone else. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that.
The men stopped at my side. I took out my earplug, having realized he was actually trying to speak to me and not his friend. We exchanged our courteous hellos. He offered his hand for a shake – I didn’t take it, apologizing. He asked for my name, and if I’d like to make a new friend. I didn’t give my name and told him that, unfortunately, I’m not looking to make friends at this time. I also told the pair that I wasn’t comfortable with the discussion, making them raise a baffled eyebrow.
The pair of them were of good manners though. I let them know my stance is due to my being married and loyal to my husband. Consequently, the man that had initiated the little conversation apologized and they went on their merry way. Of course, they scaddadled only after he had hastily checked my hand for a ring. Apparently, my word was not enough.
We are not meant to be ‘just friends’
This is my honest view on the matter, one that I share with many others. Men and women can not simply just be friends. The many clips and snippets of people asking women to call their friends for a hook-up keep showcasing it. Of course, there are some that straight up reject the girls’ advances. Things also get more interesting when the men are asked to be the perpetrators in the experiment.
We, women, are very peculiar creatures. We don’t need sexual intimacy in the same way our male counterpart does. It’s not something we would generally fuss over, nor is it a thing we would struggle to get. The female machine runs on cuddles, compliments, and deep, bonding conversations. We can go for eons without the desire making us miserable – for men, this is often not the case.
It has become a universal farce by now that humanity is seemingly turning away from our natural state. Men are becoming feminized with their testosterone levels decreasing at a concerning pace. Women are becoming masculine, abandoning their posts as a decent influence in the world from the point of pure femininity. This reminds me of something my husband once told me, a great wisdom when it comes to relationships: “I don’t want another guy, I want a woman.” Now that’s something to think about in this day and age of people not knowing what a woman/man even is.
Friends and Marriage
Ah, the controversy in what I’m about to pour out of my mind. Are you ready for this revelation? Ok, here it comes:
Married people should not mingle with the opposite sex.
It’s that simple. You might think those guys you hang out with won’t be a problem for your marriage, but boy, think again! And no, it is not about the husband’s insecurity. It’s simply not appropriate for a taken woman to be going out partying. She should not be bonding with other men in various, often times intimate, ways. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that putting effort into others rather than your own life partner is a very, very bad idea.
I would go so far as to say that the same goes for friends of the same sex. As a married woman, I’ve come to realize that single, ready-to-mingle, typical Western girls just won’t be good company. I’d rather not jeopardize my union with the person I care about. Especially not by starting to attend the girls’ night’s out, dressing up, and playing dirty. It will only harm me and the relationship, to which I’ve dedicated my life.
Too much Independence
There is no independence when it comes to a serious, devoted marriage. At least not in the modern feminist way. The modern woman’s way seems to be all about trampling the basic, natural path of human life. Not to even mention actual teamwork that is based on the strength of the parties involved. We stopped putting marriages first, pouring all our energy into jobs and the leftovers into ‘friends’ of the opposite sex. You can bet there will be trouble on the horizon.
How long do you think your husband/partner will be able to tolerate being left on the sidelines? He is the Emperor of the house, after all. It’s no wonder, in this era of female empowerment, that over half of modern marriages end up in divorce. More often than not in the hands of the so-called strong and independent woman. It also isn’t a mystery why younger and more successful men are now not interested in the whole game. Partnering up with women is just not worth the possible risks anymore.
My Unicorn Friend
On the other hand, I must have some kind of an image of a person that I could consider being friendly with, right? Well, as per any commitment, it starts with values:
Such a person would have to share my core values of traditions, the sanctity of the marriage, and the understanding that no, we are not about to go on a three-hour binge of wine and snacks. Actually, no alcohol at all for me, thank you, and no drunk donkeys either.
She would need to be married, and preferably a housewife/homemaker like myself. She’d have to have the ability to talk about hard things and taboo topics in a civil manner. Her being on the green scale of creativity is also important to me. I can’t even begin to speak about the pain of having to take part in gossiping and mundanity.
I don’t much care what walk of life you’ve emerged from. Are you able to put aside the ideologies and give a truly contemplating ear to the topic and other voices? This rules out most modern women from the get-go, with their cancel-mentality running rampant and targeting us more traditional creatures.
With all these things in mind, it’s still unlikely that I would go and find myself friends. Such a unicorn rarely appears here in the West. I’m someone who enjoys her time on the PC. I love talking to my husband, and not being burdened with too many people’s presence. Life is good as long as I have a medium for my creativity and the companionship of my husband. And the realms inside our beloved VanaVerse are an amazing cherry on top of the cake.
Last Updated: 31/05/2023