I’ve become quite the philosophy/psychology/religion devourer since those places seem to be where my research leads me. On one of the binges I found a Rabbi to follow and listen to, and what he said got me thinking. And in tears. So, what did I find out?
The Tears
I was listening to this wise man, Rabbi Manis Friedman while he was giving a lecture for some young lads. I was doing it rather half-heartedly, putting together puzzles as it played on the side, my typical procrastination routine. But then something caught my interest and I started to really listen. I put aside the other screen and stopped fiddling with things.
He was talking about how we, humans, don’t actually truly need anything. Sure, if we don’t eat we’ll die, but so what. We don’t technically need to be here. That, of course, doesn’t mean we should go ahead and die quietly… But it is true. I don’t need to be here, and neither do you. And then there was the question: Why are we here then?
I wish someone in my childhood or Lutheran semi-forced church gatherings would’ve said what the Rabbi said next. I would’ve avoided a lot of pain in my life. He said to the boys, with a stern, serious voice so powerful that I broke into tears: “You are needed.” (You can watch the lecture yourself here, maybe it’ll inspire you, as well.)
The tears just wouldn’t stop as I remembered all the ridicule, the anger, and the pain I had endured. No one had ever told me that I am needed before my husband came into the picture. And now, sitting there, listening to the Rabbi, it hit me straight in the noggin. I am needed.
The Universe within
Now, my friends, we must remember one thing about me. While I listen to religious podcasts and read books on the topic, I don’t really subscribe to any majority faith. I have my own system, which I derive mostly from Judaism these days. Many of the ancient principles of the Jews appeal to me. However, my faith keeps living and changing based on the new things I learn and adopt as I go.
It had been a while since I was touched so much by a lesson. I’d been reading a book, Living Judaism by Rabbi Wayne Dosick, and it exclaimed that we’re all fragments of God. Long story short, The book tells a story of heavenly jars that God filled with His light. These jars then shattered as they couldn’t contain the grace, and the shards that escaped became human souls.
And so, I now have this thought that we all have within us a Fragment of Divinity. It’s the part of us that we never know fully, nor can we truly grasp it, because it is us. It is not what we have but rather what we are. (Things can get really philosophical here in the Flower Space of Mrs. V, so hang in there!)
This Fragment is capable of creation, though not in the magnitude of God. Yet, it’s nothing to scoff at either. It may be a dim light compared to the Ultimate, but this dim light is still enormous! My friends, we all carry a whole miniverse within ourselves.
The Power of You
In the past, I had not yet realized that it was actually me creating the hell I lived in. Consequently, my mind shifted to an impossible reality. Dragons roamed in the sky, the crows were my guardians, and the dead visited regularly. Let me tell you, a random mauled departed being in the shady corner of your room in the night is not a surprise you’d want to get. Nor do I encourage anyone to keep looking at the delusions straight in the eye for too long.
And then I started my journey to get better. I learned about the mind and the chemistry of dopamine and everything else, and I am still on that path. The most astonishing thing I learned so far is that my mind had the power to create whole realms. Not only that, but it could also make them a reality for me. Even today 3 plains of existence live inside me in addition to the actual reality we live in. It’s just that these days I am in control of them all, instead of them being in control of me.
But what does this have to do with the good Rabbi’s teachings? Well, no matter how much I understand my inner workings, it still doesn’t explain to me why I am here. Then again, if I indeed have a Fragment of Divinity in me, then there is more to it. Then there is purpose.
The Meaning of Life
My view of the ownership of the self is relatively unpopular. I don’t believe for one second that we are only our own property. Some power placed us here and gave us the gift of life. I used to think in my self-absorbed moments that I could do whatever with myself. Shocker, it was not true. And this solidified when I received a verbal lashing from my husband. He was, rightfully so, infuriated with me in one of my suicidal tantrums. (If you want to read more about my thoughts on suicide, read this article.)
Life is easy, it’s just that we humans tend to try and make it harder than it needs to be. Once I figured out what the purpose of me on the planet was, I’ve been sailing smoothly ever since. Are you ready to hear it? Read carefully, my friends.
The purpose of life is to be the best you, you can be.
Remember those Divine Fragments? Well, you have one. And only you can be you, nobody else. We are all wildly unique, as cliche as it is to say it. It’s true though, this I can promise you. Nobody else has your life force, your lived experience, or your internal universe. There is nobody else with your Divine Fragment. You are truly one of a kind.
As such, losing you would be devastating to the world. You may not know this yet, or you may never find it out, but you have a reason to exist. And the meaning of life that comes with it? Well, cast away your self-loathing, envious stupidity for a moment and listen to that Fragment. It’ll guide you to the door you need to open, and close the ones that you won’t need on your journey.
You don’t really need to know the Grand Plan or the Reason for your being. The only thing you need to know is that you’re needed. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. And now, it’s your job to figure out what you need to do in this life.
For me, it’s to share my inner realms with my dear readers. For you, it might be maths, inventions, nursing, sweeping the streets, or even flipping burgers in a fast-food joint. Nothing is too small, too trivial. You need to ask only two questions. Is this my True Path? Do I love it here enough to make it my home for the rest of my life? The rest will sort itself out naturally.
Last Updated: 28/05/2023